Overcoming the Obstacle

These past few months I’ve really worked hard at tackling my nerve pain. Mind you I’m not taking any pain medications by choice because of they’re side effects, addiction tendencies and the fact they target the same receptors our internal pharmacy targets. The four primary brain chemicals referred to as neurotransmitters that effect our happiness and pain threshold are: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. The body`s pharmacy offers natural pain killers as potent as morphine.

”If we assume the receptors were not present in the brain because God expected man to find the poppy and evolve into its use…,’‘ then it was logical to assume that the body had its own internal set of opiates to interact with the receptors. The brain opiates subdivide into three classes known as beta-endorphins, enkephalins and dynorphin.

“Certainly you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother’s womb. I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing.”

Psalm 139: 13-14

What started off as an annoying sensation after surgery turned into a constant 7-8 pain sensation in my left arm. This sensation started to increase when I learned that there was residual blood in my cerebellum after the follow-up 6 month surgical MRI. I didn’t read the report and learn about this until I was heading out to Arizona for a post 1 year visit with my surgeon. (You’d think this would be discussed in the original Dr. visit!)

The weeks leading up to our trip, my pain started increasing so I blamed it on the weather… This isn’t completely true as It’s a very common conditioned response. What I realize now is I started thinking perhaps my increased pain was from another bleed, or what if it doesn’t go away, or worse yet what if it keeps increasing?! These daily constant negative  thoughts created lots of fear and anxiety, and caused me start slipping into a depression. If anyone knows me I’m always positive and strong willed, and I wasn’t about to let this pain win.

Reading about pain and what I’m going through I learned that my experience is similar to a person with a Cancer diagnosis. Emotionally I am battling the equivalent of PTSD,  a traumatic experience, and grieving the perceived loss of myself. Any one of these alone is hard but all 3 crippled me.

For those living with chronic pain or an Invisible condition it can be so hard since on the outside all looks great and one gets reaffirming comments like “you look great!” However inside you could be hurting so bad from pain, depression, anxiety and many other conditions. You also come to realize that the ones with the biggest smiles may also have the biggest reasons not to smile. Living through it I now can resonate with others experiencing these feelings. I must conclude this with a burning desire to change, I really don’t like these feelings and will overcome this challenge with my Godly belief. 

Lately, I’m reminded to magnify God’s love for me that I’m overwhelmed and it brings tears of joy and happiness to my inner most being.

We’ve all heard “we’re here by a thin thread” I believe we’re born with a single thread that God then takes and starts to weave our life with. Sometimes the devil weaves in circumstances or negative situations but God always reweaves our thread for good!

The first step is awareness and I am ready to create lasting change. The current ways I’m keeping a healthy, strong, positive mindset through my trauma and chronic nerve pain are the following;

• Thought Management
• Affirmations
• Journaling 
• Self Compassion 
• Movement
• Meditation
• Deep Breathing 

Thought Management

Believe it not we can actually pick what we think about. Revolutionary thought!; well not really lol. Give it a try right now by saying “I am a strong body who’s healing.”

Affirmations

An affirmation is a word or phrase said aloud or silently with repetition and strong conviction. The power of talking positively has been recognized for its ability to shift one’s mindset. Speaking affirmations, meaningful, encouraging statements to yourself increases your capacity for self-love, gratitude, and hope. 

Journaling

Writing down my emotions to read back to myself has had immense power. Both good days and bad days it feels great to expand on my feelings and get them out of my body.

Self Compassion

I work at being kind to myself and giving plenty of grace for my situation and praise all the wins, even small!

I’m learning to accept, acknowledge and experience my thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.

Movement

I have been practicing a stretch movement routine for the past few months. This has gotten me over hip pain and back into my regular daily exercise regiment. Any movement is better then no movement and “Motion is Lotion.”

Meditation

I tend to meditate first thing in the morning and before bed. These times are usually with a guided meditation, but there are times I just focus on calming my nervous system with relaxing tranquil thoughts. 

Deep Breathing

Breathing is believed to be one of the oldest primitive movements we’ve evolved with. It’s very much tied into our nervous system and can be exercised to relax us. 

You might try this simple technique as you begin on your breath journey, use 3 seconds to start and increase the count as it becomes more attainable.

Square breathing;

1. Begin by slowly exhaling all of your air out.
2. Then, gently inhale through your nose to a slow count of 3.
3. Hold at the top of the breath for a count of 3.
4. Then gently exhale through your mouth for a count of 3.
5. At the bottom of the breath, pause and hold for the count of 3.

It may be beneficial to think these thoughts when breathing too. 

Breath in the peace 
Exhale the chaos 

Breath in the clarity 
Exhale the doubt 

Breath in the relaxation
Exhale and be calm

Conclusion

My aim is to have inner peace and not allowing anything external to control my emotions. I wrote this prayer to shield myself in these recent troubling times.

It is written,

The only tool the enemy has on me is deception and I won’t stand for his lies any longer I extinguish them with my shield, I just don’t believe them. I’m no longer a slave to fear but a child of God. I choose to clothe myself with the full armor of God so that I can stand against the schemes of the devil. I cast out any negative self-destructive forces around me. 

In Jesus name Amen. 

I’m choosing to be filled with joy and peace. 

keep the faith,